Bianca Ramos
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Speaker: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Working Moms of San Antonio podcast. We're your host, Erica Reis and Marie Lifschultz, a realtor and lender here in San Antonio. But most importantly, we're working moms just like you.
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We love connecting with local moms and business hearing about their journeys and how they're balancing it all because let's be honest, it's not always easy, but it's so worth it.
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Speaker: now onto today's [00:01:00] episode, grab a cup of coffee, settle in, and let's get started.
Speaker 2: Welcome to this week's episode of the Working Moms of San Antonio podcast. We have a guest on with us today, Bianca. Um, and we're gonna turn it over to her to share about her business a little bit and, you know, get to know her. Awesome.
Speaker 3: Okay. I'm Bianca Ramos. I'm a first responder coach, also coach for veterans, and.
For moms too. Yeah. They have like a high stress profession,
Speaker 2: right, so true. We
Speaker: do.
Speaker 3: We do. Absolutely.
Speaker: We do.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And my main focus is on stress management and I think as moms we know what stress means, you know, covering family and business. Then also sleep is like one of my priorities. We all get way too less sleep.
Speaker 2: Yes. That's
Speaker: so true. Sleep is important. I noticed that it affects everything. It [00:02:00] affects your attitude, it affects your way, your, your mind works. I, I forget things if I haven't gotten a good amount of sleep. So definitely helping with sleep is a good thing, but I have to be honest, I didn't even know a sleep coach was a, like a thing.
Yeah. Like, I didn't, I didn't until you, we met you. I had no idea there was someone to help me sleep.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker: Tell us about
Speaker 3: that. Tell
Speaker: us,
Speaker 3: you know what, actually, you know, I just figured that out through a client that I'm one of the only coaches here who focus on sleep
Speaker: really?
Speaker 3: And it's crazy, you know? Yeah. I mean, I think we take sleep to granted actually.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And yeah, so. Sleep is very, very important as you just said. Yeah. You know, like you can think straight. I mean, it's proven if you sleep too less. It's almost like you drink alcohol, for example. Yeah. You feel
Speaker: kind of drunk.
Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Drowsy, nauseous and all this stuff. Yes.
Speaker 2: So what does it look like to work with a sleep coach?
I feel like at, you mentioned like moms and obviously that's our audience here. Yeah. Um, I feel like I have not slept well in years, [00:03:00] you know, like years. I mean, my, I'll wake up in the morning and like my spouse or my mom or whomever will be like, Hey, how'd you sleep? And I'm like. I think. Okay. But like, I don't really feel like, woke up, I slept.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm, I'm still with us, so here I am. And so what does it look like to work with somebody that helps with sleep and that kind of thing?
Speaker 3: Well, at first it would start actually with what's your daily structure?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Because sleep starts when you get up.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think most people don't understand that sleep.
Sleep. We always think, you know, that happens at night. But to get sleep and get good sleep starts in the morning. You have to get up and actually catch some sunlight.
Speaker 2: Oh,
Speaker: yeah,
Speaker 3: yeah,
Speaker 2: yeah. So that's an important part.
Speaker: You know, it's a bit
Speaker 3: Absolutely.
Speaker: You know, with all of us being like the. We're so stuck to a computer a lot of times and indoors and doing our jobs.
We we're not out in the environment quite a bit. So that makes a lot of sense that sleep is more disturbed these days just because we're indoors more often.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Absolutely. So grab your cup of coffee. Yeah. Stand at [00:04:00] the window. At least, you know, I know Texas sun is very hot.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Um, so you catch some sunlight, you know your system, your eyes see the sunlight and your, it's called the circadian, uh, rhythm will start.
Uh, there's like hormone stuff that happens in your body and that is triggered by that sunlight, and that's why it's so important actually, that you stand there, drink a cup of coffee
Speaker: out in
Speaker 3: the sunlight or a tea
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Or whatever, and grab that sunlight. Yes.
Speaker: I don't think I've ever been a really long sleeper.
Like even as a child, I was a very early riser. Um, and I can be a night owl and I, I mean, I can go to bed midnight, wake up at four. I'm jealous and I feel I function, but I, I mean, I, but I like sleep. I would, I mean, there's days that I'm like, oh, I wish I could sleep in and sleep in past, you know, seven or as soon as the light hits the window, I am, I'm up, my eyes open and I'm like, oh man, I wanna to sleep longer.
Yeah. That kind of thing. So I, when I sleep, I sleep well. Like, I sleep deep, but I don't sleep long.
Speaker 3: Well, everybody, I have to [00:05:00] say has like a different timeframe. You know, the minimum is they say like six, seven hours you have to sleep, you know?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And then everybody has like a different, um, I, I'm quite sure you guys heard that term owls or like early, you know, sure.
Early bird and stuff like that. You know, everybody has a different type of sleep and. So it's not wrong if you get up early in the morning. I'm jealous. Like I said, you know, and, and you can stay up long. It's like, I wish my days were longer. I'm the one who actually sleeps in forever. I wish I could get up at five o'clock and go to the gym
Speaker: and do those things.
Speaker 3: So you have to, as you were asking me, what would I do with a client? Yeah, that's one of the questions. How do you usually sleep? Are you one of those people who get up early? And, and stay ablate, or you are one of those people. And the natural thing, as you said, you know, you can't even sleep longer. You can't.
Or if you're one of those people like me, I'm [00:06:00] like a sleepy bear. I have to sleep in technically until 10 o'clock, you know? Oh gosh. And a function, gosh, good
for
Speaker 2: you. I love that for you.
Speaker 3: I don't get that. So live against my inner clock, you know? And this is something we have to consider too, you know? Yeah.
Sleeping or living against our inner clock, our inner clock is so important. That's why I brought that up with the morning sun. You know, you have to make sure you turn on your inner clock that your inner clock knows. Hey, it's morning. I start producing all that stuff, the hormones and everything so I can fall asleep easy at night, you know?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And the other thing I think that is more familiar and more known is like the the night routine. You know, that
you
Speaker 3: calm down. Um, I do have to say nowadays people, um, it is always sad 'cause you mentioned computers and everything. Yes. You know, and everybody's scrolling and all that.
Speaker 2: Uh, yes.
Speaker 3: I'm not as strict, you know, I think you have to play.
Their light is also, um, very important that you play with that. So my routine, for example, looks like that [00:07:00] at night. I watch tv. I need to relax first, you know, and then after that, um. I have actually my ceiling light on while I watch tv. Mm-hmm. So I'm trying to mimic, you know, that the sun is going down.
Then after that, I start scrolling. I do all the TikTok, Instagram and everything, you know, and I switch over to my nightlight at the desk. So the sun is going down, and then actually I turn everything off and I just read my ebook so I have no light on in my room. So your brain understands, Hey, it's nighttime.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: You know, you dim the light step by step. Yeah. So you can play with that, for example. And then the other thing is a routine. Our body, our brain loves routines. Yes. You know, so if you do that all the time, no matter when you go to bed, actually, then it knows, oh. Time to wind down. Oh, it's time to sleep.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker: I think as an, um, when I was a [00:08:00] young mom, my, my, my mother taught me that she was, you, you're, when you're trying to get your baby to sleep through the night. You gotta develop a routine. Yes. So I remember trying very like, I have to be home by this time. I have to be home. If not, he won't sleep through the night.
Like bath
Speaker 2: pajama.
Speaker: Yes. You know,
Speaker 2: like all the,
Speaker: so when you start doing those things, yeah, they automatically start to relax and then they would get sleepy. And I got them sleep through the night very early on. Did
Speaker 2: you find that was helpful?
Speaker: It was extremely, I did not defer from that routine 'cause I didn't, I mean, I wanted them to be able to sleep through the night.
Speaker 2: You always talk about how like you had like a few hours of time where it was like the witching hour almost. It
Speaker: was my, the boys, they would,
Speaker 2: we did too with the littlest one, the other two not so much
Speaker: lose their mind like between four and 7:00 PM I'm like, I hate this time of the day, but by 7:00 PM they knew that it was, brush their teeth, take a bath and get our clothes out, do whatever we needed to do and they would automatically start to get sleepy.
Yeah. Like it was just, even they, they knew and my youngest like. If I didn't and we, we had a maybe a family over or something going on, or school activity, he's like, I'm putting myself to bed. Yeah. 'cause he knew, [00:09:00] bless him, I'm gonna put myself to bed. So I think even as an adult, you have to have those routines.
'cause your body, I, I love routine, like my
Speaker 2: love routines. I have, I need this, I need this, but I don't have this, no
Speaker: routines. It's hard. I don't
Speaker 3: be too strict with yourself. You know? I think that's why I said,
Speaker 2: yeah, I fall asleep with the TV on.
Speaker 3: Oh,
Speaker 2: I know. It's so bad. I know, but like, it's like, is it, do you have
Speaker 3: like a timer or something?
Speaker 2: No, it's not. You should, that's something, you know. I know. I am the worst, you guys. I am not healthy in any way.
Speaker 3: Can
Speaker 2: I
Speaker 3: help you
Speaker 2: somehow? Yeah. I, my husband too. Like, we are like TV people. Like I just need it for the, like the noise, the, the, I know.
Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2: You know, I mean, I sleep with a fan on and stuff and that helps with the sound, but, um.
I know I sleep better when it's off, but I just, it's such like a thing. I've done it my whole life.
Speaker: Oh my goodness. My, my brother-in-law, they always like to say I can't.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker: For me, it has to be pitch black, no noise. Like if I hear a noise, I wake up like, what's that?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But there you can see, you know, sleep is unique.
Yeah. Everybody has their [00:10:00] own. Techniques, how they fall asleep, what they need to sleep well, you know? Yeah. And that's why coaching is so important. You know, there's not this one thing, even though, so, uh, social media makes you believe that, you know? Yeah. There's not that one thing, you know, you have to adjust it to every person.
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, that's so true. I love that. I mean, I feel like I need coaching. I love coaching.
Speaker: No, I mean, I, I love sleeping. I, I
Speaker 2: don't sleep.
Speaker: I wish I slept more. I mean, I like, you know, I said I woke up one night, light comes in, I'm like, oh man, I want to sleep longer. I would love to be that. And I actually, um, I, that's why I'm thinking I'm only four 11.
'cause I swear my parents and my mom did not believe. Sleeping in. So like, you know how teenagers I, I read that they need, I have teenagers now, so they need to sleep more like, like a toddler does because they're
Speaker 2: like growing. Yeah,
Speaker: they're growing and like, and I know when they sleep more sleep in, I'm like, oh no, I have to buy new pants or new shoes.
They're growing. Oh yeah, I know that timeframe. Like, I know they're gonna grow some more. So I, I allow them when they don't have to be up early for school, I try to [00:11:00] let them sleep in as long as they can because I know they need it for their health. But as. Growing up, my, my mom's like Uhuh, six o'clock we're cleaning house Saturday morning.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker: So we were up early cleaning, doing things. So she like, she didn't let you, she didn't, it wasn't productive if you slept in. Yeah. So I think I just learned not to do that. But I also felt like my growth, like I'm short, I'm much very short. Like I didn't sleep in and I don't sleep well. Like I don't sleep long, so I don't think I slept enough.
But now my body just knows, like I can get a few hours of sleep. Function, but I would like to sleep longer, so maybe I do need coaching. So let
Speaker 3: me ask you, how do you feel when you get up?
Speaker: Typically, I can, I, when I wake up, I'm alert. Like if I open my eyes, I'm like, oh man, like I'm a, I'm up and I need to start doing something.
But I realize that by 3:00 PM my brain turns off if I sleep,
Speaker 3: but that's normal.
Speaker: Oh it is. That's normal. Oh, maybe that's normal.
Speaker 3: Is
Speaker 2: it normal to have your brain turned off all the time?
Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely. Around that time. Lemme ask you, when do you get [00:12:00] up in the morning?
Speaker: I typically about, uh, between five and five 30 is typically when I wake up.
Speaker 3: See, three o'clock is normally actually to have this midday, you know, deep, uh, my brain doesn't function no more, you know?
Speaker 2: Yeah. 'cause you've
Speaker 3: already been functioning for a long time.
Speaker: But I need to function longer 'cause work requires you to like, I, you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Then you should take a nap actually.
Speaker 2: Oh,
Speaker: a siesta.
Speaker 2: Oh my
Speaker 3: gosh. I love
Speaker 2: a nap in the day.
Speaker 3: Absolutely. I love it.
Speaker: I did, I guess when I was young and before married and before kids, I would, I, I learned how to do power naps. Yeah. I had actually a, an old boss of mine who I, I miss dearly great, great friend of mine, um, said, Hey, go in the back if you're tired. Do a power nap.
I'm like, what's that? He goes. Taught me. We like laid on the, we laid on the floor. He goes, put your, put your legs up against the wall. So where your legs completely straight? Yes. And he goes, doze and I, it would make me doze off really fast. He goes, but when your feet would buckle, like when they would fall, you'd wake up.
Best nap I've ever had, and it was 20.
Speaker 3: So why are you
Speaker: not
Speaker 3: doing it
Speaker: anymore? I, 'cause I don't have time.
Speaker 3: I
Speaker: don't think about do I, I [00:13:00] didn't
Speaker 3: think about it. I bet with you, you will function better and work better and have better results when you actually nap again.
Speaker: So when I go into the office, just randomly lay on the floor and take a nap.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well now we all work from home and
Speaker: I, we
Speaker 2: just go to bed for like 20 minutes.
Speaker 3: 20 minutes is actually that timeframe. You should. Sleep. Now.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I think I sleep better
Speaker: in the day than
Speaker 2: I do at night. Really?
Speaker 3: 20 minutes.
Speaker: It's like perfect. Well, you know what, you're right. 'cause if I've slept when I've, like, if I wasn't feeling well and I laid down and if I slept longer, sometimes I felt like I felt worse.
Speaker 3: Yeah. '
Speaker: cause I didn't slept too much, maybe or too long or something. Yeah. So is that a thing, like you can sleep too much for a nap?
Speaker 3: Absolutely.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely. The perfect timeframe, like I said, is like 20 minutes. It has something to do with the sleep cycles.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3: Or if you sleep like 90 minutes.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: So these are the, so you either have to give yourself
Speaker 2: 20 minutes or an hour and a half.
Speaker 3: Exactly.
Speaker 2: But who knows how? I mean, if you don't have the time, 20 minutes to do
Speaker 3: it. Right. So if you wanna do it really good, actually you drink a cup of coffee. Before you go napping.
Speaker 2: Really? Ooh,
Speaker 3: yes.
Speaker 2: Say more about that.
What does that mean?
Speaker: Yeah, how does that work?
Speaker 3: Well, you know, it takes the [00:14:00] time that the coffee actually starts functioning, you know, do its job in your body. Uh, and that is the time you nap. And then after that, you wake up like you do in the morning
Speaker: and the coffee's in your system. So you feel
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker: Oh, look at that.
That's a trick, ladies. Yeah. Hmm.
Speaker 2: Oh, interesting. I feel like I don't sleep well because I have like super lucid dreams constantly. Does that make sense? Like, yes, my dreams feel so real. Sometimes I dream about work and sometimes I think I, I feel like I've worked all night long. It's the worst. They're so real.
And then I have to wake up and be like, oh, that was a dream
Speaker: and I don't have dreams.
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker: I don't, if I have 'em, I don't remember. Like, I, I want to like, I want to have dream stop. You don't have dreams. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3: Everybody has dreams. I mean, like, it's just you sleep deeper. Yeah. And you don't sleep that deep.
That's why you don't feel rested.
Speaker: You're not sleeping deep. You feel alert. You're not sleeping deeper. Sleep
Speaker 2: I sleep deeper. How does that happen? I don't wanna remember these dumb dreams about work. I don't need it. You guys,
Speaker: like, I don't, I, I rarely, I mean, there's some days, but I rarely. Dream. Like I, [00:15:00] and I would like
Speaker 2: to, oh my gosh, they are so real for me.
Like as if I have really Yes. Where I wake up and I'm like, did that happen? And I'm like, no, thank God. It's a dream. I, I wanted
Speaker: to crawl into your brain and see
Speaker 2: what happens. My gosh. That's the worst. It's the worst. You don't wanna be in there.
Speaker 3: Well maybe you have to add, like, like I said, you know, like a bedtime routine.
Yeah. Where you write everything down, for example, what is still on your mind. Yeah. But you have to do the next day, you know? Yeah. That's because a good idea that is maybe popping up during the night. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: So, B is that what it means when someone dreams a lot like the vivid dreams Erica has. Just 'cause you're not sleeping deep.
Speaker 3: Um, if like you described, you know, it's like a steady thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yes. You're not sleeping well.
Speaker 2: Yeah. We
Speaker: gotta knock you out some more.
Speaker 2: Like, I don't know, I need a drug or something.
Speaker 3: Don't go over there and knock her out.
Speaker 2: How do you feel then about like these, like sleep aids and stuff that people do, like the melatonin and like the different things?
Speaker 3: Um, I do have to say sometimes I use that too.
Speaker 2: Sure.
Speaker 3: You know, um, just to start the thing is also, you have to know that. You fall asleep easier. That doesn't make sure that you sleep [00:16:00] deeper.
Speaker: Yeah. Oh, okay.
Speaker 3: So, you know, since I work shift as a police officer, I do understand when you do that, you know you wanna have the most out of your sleep and you wanna fall asleep really quick.
So therefore, I do have to say, yes, use it, but not on the steady pace. You still have to adjust your life so you have good sleep, you know? Yeah.
Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3: Shouldn't be. A steady thing, you know, like, you know, sleeping pills. Sure. I mean, they have side effects too,
Speaker 2: of course.
Speaker 3: Um, yeah, as I said, you know, I would just suggest actually, hey, please start changing your life, doing little things.
It doesn't even have to be something super strict or whatever. And, and it has to be like, um, you know, every person, as I mentioned earlier, you know, is unique. You need like a special program and I always love to add stuff. Yeah. You know. It's easier than taking stuff away.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3: As I suggest, you know, like,
Speaker: yeah,
Speaker 3: do the nap again.
Drink your coffee before you drink, take a nap. You know? Or for you, I would [00:17:00] say like, write it down, you know, it seems like it's still bothering you when you go to bed. Yeah. Write it all down. Write a list or, you know, if you don't feel like writing it down, take your phone and just speak on it and, uh, have those spoken notes, you know?
Mm-hmm.
Speaker: To get it off your mind, I guess, or to get out. Exactly. Yes.
Speaker 2: Absolutely. Sometimes it's the weirdest stuff like that. I, I don't think I'm thinking about this stuff, but maybe I am.
Speaker 3: Yeah,
Speaker 2: yeah.
Speaker: Well, you're also a very creative person. Like you have that type of, you know,
Speaker 2: sometimes it's,
Speaker: I don't wanna dream about numbers.
Yeah. I don't do any. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean, sometimes it's work. A lot of times it's work, but a lot of times it's other like wacky. Like, I mean, you know how dreams are. Yes. It's the weirdest stuff. And I'm like, who? Even sometimes I'll dream like that. I'm at my house, but like it's not my house. It's not a house I've ever seen.
But in the dream, it's my house. It's your house house. Like I create like different realities.
Speaker: Oh, how funny.
Speaker 2: And it's like, but I've heard, and I don't know if this is true, but I heard that if you see someone in a dream. Probably you've seen them somewhere in life and you just don't remember that. You know, like even in passing or whatever.
Because [00:18:00] sometimes there are people in my dreams and I'm like, who are these people?
Speaker: That's funny. No, I, we had to do a segment on dreams because that
Speaker 2: would be fun. I know. Oh my, I'm gonna start writing 'em down. Like it's the dumbest stuff. You'd
Speaker 3: a great book. You might find a pattern actually. And that is interesting too.
Yes. That is also like what I've just learned recently that the brain is, 'cause I had a weird dream. Uh. Like I was in school and then all of a sudden it was snowing, you know? Yeah. In the school. Like, what the heck? You know? And then I was in the garage looking for my car, and I couldn't find it. And I ended up in, uh, it was like with pebbles, like, you know, like where the dirty water goes down and everything.
I'm like, where the heck am I? Yeah. And I, I found the way out and I saw the water already coming down. I'm like, what the heck is going on? And I'm like. You know, AI is very helpful. I do have to say, and I didn't want to have like an esoteric explanation for that.
Speaker 2: Sure.
Speaker 3: But then I got the explanation actually that the brain is using still stuff from the past, you know, like the school.
And I [00:19:00] realized, oh, okay. I'm learning new stuff again right now and that's why my brain is pulling out school, school, school. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. 'cause I'm in the same experience you could say, you know? Yeah. Going through it a different way. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like different, I love dream penalizing. Yeah. But like I said.
The, the, the explanation for that, that the brain is using what it already experienced. Mm-hmm. You know, as an explanation too. So it would be actually interesting if you write that down, you know,
Speaker 2: port,
Speaker: write down your dreams and we'll dump it into Ai. Into it.
Speaker 2: Yeah. My Portuguese mom would say, all of that means news.
Because everything means news. And you can never be wrong. 'cause we're always getting different kinds of news.
Speaker 3: Yeahs,
Speaker 2: the Portuguese. Yeah.
Speaker: I, I do have a question when it comes to sleeping deep because I realize like, I, I'm not, I loved, I'd rather be. Cold and hot. So Texas is probably not the best state for me to be in, but so I make my home at in the evenings.
Cold. Like I, I don't care anybody. Beautiful.
Speaker 3: That's why you sleep
Speaker: so well. Yeah. So I make the home, I like being cold, so I know it bothers other people, [00:20:00] but I know we don't care about them. It's my house. You can, you can, I always tell them You can, you can add more clothes. I can't take more off like, so put clothes on.
Yeah. But so my boys love it cold as well. My husband's the only one doesn't like it cold, but I know I sleep so much better. To make I, I need, I like to, I wanna cover up in my blankets and I wanna be cold and that kind of thing. So maybe your home isn't cold enough for you, for you to sleep deep? It could be yes.
Because you don't like being cold?
Speaker 2: No, I don't. Maybe it's not, maybe I should lower that temp,
Speaker: lower that temperature so I get it down in the sixties.
Speaker 2: I don't know. It's probably the TV and the stuff that I said before. Yes. And just like, sometimes I will work on my computer until like 10 o'clock at night and then I'm like, I guess it's time for bed.
And it's like my body's like, what? And hasn't had
Speaker: time to rest or like start to relax, like you said, like. Do the little turning off the lights. Yes. Doing this. You go from work to bed.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker: No in between.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Maybe it's that, you know?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker 2: It's probably a lot of things
Speaker 3: you need to talk, Erica.
Speaker 2: I know. And I need sleep.
I mean, we need it, right?
Speaker: Yes. So, yeah, to go on with the, the, the coaching part. So obviously [00:21:00] you get some data upfront like, Hey, what are your patterns? What is this? Whatever. Exactly. And then what, what then happens? After you have you, so Alex, I come to you and I'm like, here, here's my data. Here's all the things I'm doing.
So what does the
Speaker 3: coaching look like? You would have like this wonderful word, discovery callers, you know? Okay. Yeah. And I collect the data and I might actually be able, like here in this conversation that I tell you, Hey, write it down. You know? Yeah. Or, Hey, it's great that you cool, you have a cool room, dark room, and all this stuff, you, or nap Then so you're refreshed and for the new day or the next part of the day actually.
So, you know, I would be able to give you already one advice
Speaker: mm-hmm.
Speaker 3: At that discovery call. Okay. And then I would actually look, what can we tweak? And it's also, as I said, it's a personality thing, you know? Sure. You might wanna not add like the snap you are like, I have to, you know, then I would suggest something else, you know?
Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3: So we would. Work on the patterns. It's also usually, it's actually interesting, you know, with my [00:22:00] last podcast that we ended talking about stress management. Yeah. And that is a big part too, you know? Yeah. So I would look at that. How is your daily stress impact looking like, you know? Yeah.
Speaker: We're in real estate, we're always stressed.
Always,
Speaker 3: yes. There's always something
Speaker 2: so true. I love when you go into a doctor's office and they say like, oh, well, like whatever you're experiencing, like. Are you stressed? It's like, yeah, but they never tell you what to do with it, right? Yeah. It's like, Hey, they just like say like, yep, don't be stressed.
Yep. Stressed, like check. And then it's like, what do we do about this, you guys? Yeah. That's
Speaker 3: where coaching comes
Speaker 2: in. You
Speaker 3: know? I'm like the person holding your hand next to you and telling you, Hey. You could do this, you could tweak that, you
know?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. I mean, stress is huge in, in mom's lives and, you know, all kinds of things.
And I, I imagine it does affect your sleep
Speaker: just in en environmental, like you obviously, I, I don't, I definitely don't watch the news. I don't, sorry, moms, I don't watch the news, but I'll read it and I, I have to, I have to turn it off because if not, then I'm worrying about things that I have no control over, and I know [00:23:00] when I worry, I don't sleep well.
So I do my very best. Not everything I can, I, I mean, it's not always, I have teenage boys, so they're always doing something to make me worry, but I try really hard just to shut it off as best I can to allow myself to sleep.
Speaker 3: You just mentioned actually a very important topic, environment.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3: News where you live, where your friends are.
What your job is and everything. That's why I said everything. It's very personal. You know, that's where coaching comes and I have to collect all the data to give you that, what you need.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker 3: I can't change maybe where you live, the neighborhood, if that's dangerous, that I can't change that. Yeah. You know, but I can maybe suggest, hey, make your house safe, for example, so you do feel safe and you can't sleep.
'cause that has an impact on your sleep too.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. If you, if you don't feel safe and you hear noises or whatever going on
Speaker 3: you Yes, absolutely. Yeah.
Speaker: How interesting it all, it all impacts our sleep, I
Speaker 3: feel like. Absolutely. Absolutely. We underestimate that. And like I said, we take [00:24:00] sleep for granted, but
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: You know, the only thing is we talk about it how bad we slept.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: We don't do anything about it.
Speaker 2: What do you feel like some of the side effects are for not getting enough sleep? Like what can it do?
Speaker 3: Yeah. As I said earlier, you know, it's, it's almost like you're drinking alcohol. You can't function right.
You can't think. Right. Uh, in the long run it can make you sick.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: From a heart attack, stroke and all this stuff. Yeah. It can go that bad.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Or simple stuff. Daily life, you can have like an, an accident on the street because you don't function, you can't focus
Speaker: or you're not alert.
Speaker 2: Does it lower your immune system if you don't?
Speaker 3: Absolutely.
Speaker 2: So you're more likely to get like a cold or,
Speaker: yeah.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 2: Oh,
Speaker: so if someone's constantly ill, maybe looking at their sleep pattern might be a good way to start versus medication.
Speaker 3: Yep.
Speaker: Absolutely. I mean, so yeah, sleep is important. I value sleep. I would like more of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, me too.
Speaker: But it seems like
Speaker 2: you have
Speaker: enough.
I do. You know what I, and I, I always, I guess maybe I'm not giving myself the crap I do when I fall asleep. I'm asleep.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker: I sleep
Speaker 2: [00:25:00] well in this conversation. You have said the things that you do and she's like, that's great that you're doing. I know, right?
Speaker: I'm like, I'm
Speaker 2: doing great. And I have said the things that I do and she's like, probably not though.
You suck at, you
Speaker: suck at sleepy.
Speaker 2: So I think your
Speaker: sleep
Speaker 2: is good.
Speaker: So I
Speaker 3: guess my, yeah, it sounds more like you have like a belief 'cause your mom was so strict. Yeah, that is something I can work as a coach on with you together on too, you know? Well,
Speaker: my husband's like you. He can, if my, he is like a bear. He can sleep all the times, all the time.
He'd love to hibernate. And I'm like, no, no, no, we gotta get up. And I always felt like maybe it was me, but I I, but when I do wake up, I'm, I'm, I am refreshed. I'm not sleepy, I'm not tired. I'm more, I'm alert. But in my head, I guess, like I always assumed you have to get eight hours of sleep all the time. And I'm like, I'm, it's not my normal pattern.
I'm typically a six hour. A night's sleep, but I feel, well,
Speaker 2: yes,
Speaker: like I don't feel bad. I don't feel, you know, foggy or whatever, but I got my brain kind of like I'm tired by 3:00 PM but I need to be working till six or 7:00 PM [00:26:00] but I also get up really early. So Do you go
Speaker 2: to bed early?
Speaker: Sometimes I try to. I used to be an early bird, but boys and husband don't allow that to happen.
Yeah. So I tend to go to bed. Typically, I try to get to the bedroom by 10. Um, but like we're talking, we're catching up. We don't see each other during the day, so we're, we're trying to, you know, who's doing what, who's going where tomorrow. So I'm typically not turning off the lights. About 11.
Speaker 2: Will you fall asleep on the couch?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker 2: Oh, me too. I am
Speaker: the word I
Speaker 2: thought used. I've gotten old, I used to say, and now in this conversation, I think it's 'cause I don't sleep, but I used to say I could fall asleep anywhere. And I was like, I can literally fall asleep, like sitting up in an airport, like waiting for a, waiting for a a plane.
Like I can fall asleep anywhere. But now I'm starting to think it's, 'cause I don't sleep at night. You can't sleep. But I can fall asleep anywhere. So maybe it's not good. So maybe not a skill that I have.
Speaker: I don't enjoy watching shows or movies in the evenings because I'm like, I'm out. Yeah. The minute I sit down to relax, I'm out.
So I'm like, if I'm doing that, I go straight to the bedroom. Because if I'm gonna relax, I'm gonna relax in my room. And like, that's it, because I don't
Speaker 2: [00:27:00] wanna sleep. You're so healthy. I love this for you. I am the opposite, where like I will fall asleep on the couch and I'll be there until like 11 o'clock at night.
Speaker: But you know why? 'cause I get a crick in my neck and it's not comfortable. And I walk up, I'm like, eh,
Speaker 2: I have a paid, I can make smarter choices. And I just don't,
Speaker: oh, I can help guys, don't afterwards.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker 3: You sleep so well.
Speaker: Yeah,
Speaker 2: now I'm super jealous
Speaker: and in my head I just didn't sleep long enough.
But I, I knew, I knew when, like if the home, the house is warm, forget it. It's gonna be miserable sleep. Um, but yeah, so I, I make the house cool. I make sure that it's dark. 'cause that's the only way. Like, I don't even like a little light. Like we have a, what is it called? One of those, um, fan,
Speaker 2: like, like a nightlight.
Speaker: Like, like, I don't like any light like we used to have, our TV had a light at the bottom. I put a tape on it.
Speaker 2: Stop.
Speaker: I don't like light, like I, it, it, I see it. I can see it through my eyeballs. I mean, my eyelids kind of the
Speaker 3: same. I'm the same.
Speaker 2: It be dark. If you don't, if you don't have any light, how do you get up to go pee in the night?
Speaker: I know, I, I, I walk when my eyes closed. Stop. I know where my bathroom is.
Speaker 2: Oh my [00:28:00] gosh. And I, I mean, I do 'cause. I don't, I I don't drink water all day. Yeah. And then I wait until the night to drink all the drink, get water that I need in life. And then I'm upp peeing all night. That's another thing I have to go to pee so much.
Stay, pop. Did you
Speaker: go to bathroom? Keep talking.
Speaker 2: You tell all twice I secrets
Speaker 3: What's not working
Speaker: here I go, I, I typically, and it makes me mad 'cause I typically wake up about four 30 and I'm like, I don't have to get up to five. Why do I have to go to the bathroom right now?
Speaker 2: Yeah, do
Speaker: it.
Speaker 2: If I didn't have lights, I would just.
Trip and die probably. I mean, I would just, I need some light.
Speaker: I barely open my eyes when I go, but, so, no,
Speaker 2: I, my roommate used to do that. She would tell me that, so she wouldn't wake herself up. She would like pee, but like, have her eyes closed. And I was like, if that works for you, I guess. Cool. Like,
Speaker: well, I guess for, for me, like, I, like we, I have blinds in my room, but uh, as soon as that sunlight hits I'm up.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker: So the whole night, like I can't have, like we have, um, where I live, we have like a big apartment complex behind and we used to have. Lots of trees and bushes that covered up all the lights from their, from their parking lot. But after the freeze, I lost all my trees or bushes that [00:29:00] covered it. So light comes in and it drives me insane.
So I have to make sure that it's dark. 'cause if not, I can't fall asleep if there's light in my room.
Speaker 2: Hmm. This is so interesting.
Speaker: Yeah. So no light, so you have lights in your room when you're sleeping.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, I have the TV on and that.
Speaker: Oh, that's
Speaker 2: right. And then, yeah, like I have a, I have a nightlight in my
Speaker: dresser.
Never, what's the movie where the person comes out of the TV like this? The, yeah, that's what I'm saying. You can have the TV on.
Speaker 2: Can't, trying to make me afraid and I'm definitely not gonna sleep.
Speaker: That's funny. Well, I just, I, yeah. Tv I can't, I can't leave the TV on any noise. No. That's why I don't like how we have a cat and she's gotten older, so she gets lost in the middle of the house and she'll, she meows. I'm like, oh my God, it's 2:00 AM go to sleep.
Speaker 2: Yeah,
Speaker: like, because I hear her and I can't sleep. She does that.
Speaker 2: How interesting.
Speaker: Yep. No noise. No light.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Maybe that's, so let me
Speaker 3: ask you, how often do you actually wake up during the night?
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, so much. Oh, I so much. And I keep looking at my, I wish this, I would put this somewhere else. 'cause then I look at [00:30:00] it to see the time, don't, but then when I look at it, I'm like, okay, well that's light in my face.
And so I'm like, okay. So then I'm, sometimes I'm up for like an hour and then I go back to sleep again. Or try.
Speaker: That's why you never sleep deep because you're waking up every couple of hours and
Speaker 2: Yeah,
Speaker: I I'm
Speaker 3: learning it. I'm learning. Does stress. Yeah. Yeah. Does it stress you out actually when you wake up?
Speaker 2: Yeah, because then I think to myself like, okay, well I only have like three more hours and I will lay there sometimes and be like, okay, like now you have an hour, now you have 30 minutes. Now you like before I have to get up and it's crazy.
Speaker 3: So let me tell you something actually. Yeah. It's pretty normal to wake up five up to six times.
Speaker: Really?
Speaker 3: Yes it is. Yeah. People underestimated. It's just, you know, people don't remember that.
Speaker 2: See Marie stuff I do is normal. Oh, okay. I hear you.
Speaker 3: But you shouldn't stress about that, that's why I'm telling you that. Yeah. If you know that, you know, it has something to do, you know, like the um, like. You know, now I'm losing my, you're fake.
Speaker: Yeah. Losing your words back in the way.
Speaker 3: Uh, yeah. Well, you know, we [00:31:00] as humans, you know, we had to watch out, you know, for danger and
Speaker 2: everything. Oh, yes. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And so this was normal. You know, you wake up. As I said, five, six times, you look around, everything is still fine.
Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3: And then you go to sleep again.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And nowadays, you know, we look at the clock, the modern technology, and we are like, oh, it's six o'clock, I have to get up, you know?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But back then we would've been like, oh, I'm fine. I can go to sleep again. Yeah. I might, you know. And it's good to know for you that it's normal to wake up, you know?
Yeah. So you can't turn around. And it's also a mindset thing. You can look at your. Cell phone actually, and sit tell yourself. Wow. Instead of like stressing, you can say, Ooh, I still have two hours actually to sleep, you know?
Speaker: Yeah. I
Speaker 3: do that. I can snuggle with my pillows, you know, stuff like
Speaker: that. I get up, I'm like, I still have 30 minutes, and I'm excited because I have 30 more minutes.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker: So I go, I, I do off for the, now I do have a question. I think women also, like you're, when you become a mom. Oh, you're more alert. You're tuned [00:32:00] in to hearing noises because you would have to be able to hear the baby cry or rustle or I, you know, like I would assume that we are just more alert. I always tell Roger, I'm like, you're not gonna protect If someone breaks in, you're gonna sleep through it.
Yeah. You won't hear anything. He doesn't, he can sleep through everything. He doesn't hear it. And I do, but I also equate that, that I, I had to be alert for the kids.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker: Babies when they were little.
Speaker 2: Right. I think before I had kids, I slept better.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah. I remember one time my parents actually when I was like a teenager, were putting up like a wood ceiling and they were drilling and I was sleeping through it.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think it was after I had kids where I had to like constantly be on alert that now I just don't sleep well.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker: Well, and you still have kids and then you still, and they're still little and you know, they do get up and you know, but. Yeah, I would assume this women down the
Speaker 2: hallway
Speaker: in women in general, you're just kind of more alert to hear noises.
Yeah. Um, I dunno, it's just something I assume, but
Speaker 3: Yeah,
Speaker: totally. To me actually,
Speaker 3: yes, it is. It is like that. Yeah. You know, used to have the same thing actually. Like me, I [00:33:00] was a police officer. You know, this being alert is 24 7, you know? Yes. Or if you guys are married to a veteran, you know, or soldier. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, it's the same thing. They're always, always alert, you know, they have sleep problems too. Due to that sleep is, you're always like,
Speaker 2: worse than mine,
Speaker 3: on, on, on watch. You know, it's something happening around me, you know?
Speaker 2: That's interesting. I never really thought about that. Yeah. So
Speaker 3: those primary instincts are like multiplied.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker: Well, and it like, obviously I wake up when I hear Roger, like he's a, he moves a lot. So we wanted to get a bed that didn't move a lot, and then it was hard and you couldn't move anyway, but, and then he snores. He just snore. Yeah. Frank too. So I kick him, I kick him. Turn over.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I tell him, I'm like, Hey.
Speaker: Oh no, I'm snoring. I kick him. I'm like, you're waking me up. Marino.
Speaker 3: That actually studies proof that women sleep better alone in their bed.
Speaker: I would agree.
Speaker 3: And even more better if they have the dog with them.
Speaker: Really? Oh
Speaker 3: yeah. How interest. And guys, actually, they need their wife next to them.
Speaker: Yes. [00:34:00] Yeah. Yes.
Roger does not sleep. I sleep fine when
Speaker 3: I travel, so it's ing that Studies even prove that, you know?
Speaker: But now that you said that I sleep well when I travel, if I have to be somewhere and he's not. He does not sleep well and he can sleep all the time. My husband loves to sleep and he sleeps well when I'm there, but if I'm gone, he's like, I slept horrible.
I'm like, maybe it's because
Speaker 2: heaven on alert for both of you and he knows he doesn't have to be when you are so aware. You know what I mean? He can sleep better 'cause like you've got it.
Speaker: Yeah. That's not fair. Wait a minute, I have this conversation later.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, but also, like, isn't that our whole lives, like, isn't that our whole lives as women?
Speaker: But you know, I, I do like, I, I just because of less movement. Like, I, I don't move if he doesn't like, so Yeah. So I, I do realize, and I understand why I told him the other day, I understand why people have separate beds in their bedroom. Like as they, you know, older couples, you know?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker: Had two different rooms or two different beds.
Like, I realized why people slept in separate beds because. You move a lot and I, I'm like,
Speaker 2: yeah, my grandparents did when they got [00:35:00] older and it's because my grandmother had restless leg syndrome and now I have restless leg syndrome.
Speaker: Shake your leg.
Speaker 2: Yes. Oh my God. All I do is like, it just, and it's the weirdest sensation like you, and that's maybe another reason why don't sleep.
There's so many reasons why don't sleep? That's
Speaker: sim Isn't that I've heard that. Like someone can do that and just relaxes you too. Right. Shaking your foot or your leg or whatever.
Speaker 2: Well, this is like, but for you crawl, like your nervous system is actually, it's, it's, yeah. It's nerves. Like, it's like a sensation that you just have to move your legs all the time.
Speaker: We just gotta get you drunk and patch you out,
Speaker 2: I guess. Sounds, that's what it sounds like was me last night.
Speaker 3: But that sounds to me actually that your nervous system is always overstimulated. You're,
Speaker: you're on alert always.
Speaker 2: Yeah. How interesting. How do
Speaker: we help you turn that off?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I wish I knew.
Speaker 3: She needs to talk to me.
Speaker: Talk. Yes. Talk to Bianca.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do. I need to.
Speaker: Well, it's, it's becoming
Speaker 2: ever more apparent.
Speaker: Well, and like, you don't know, like, I mean, sometimes you build good habits, you don't realize it's a good habit. Like I'm thinking it was, you [00:36:00] know, it's something my little twerk, but it happens to be like, I like the house cold. I have to sleep and that's how I sleep the best. And that's a good thing. But like if you don't know those things
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker: And you don't do them and you, you know, she gives you tips and tricks to help you sleep. Totally,
Speaker 2: totally. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And you can share it with others.
Speaker: Can you imagine how much better you would be if you slept better? Oh, you're doing so well now and then, you know what I mean? Like how much Yeah,
Speaker 2: but I mean, I can't imagine it.
Speaker 3: Oh, Erica would turn in a super girl.
Speaker: There you go. You'll be able to fly.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't think the world needs me tap. Maybe the world doesn't need me to sleep more. Oh, good grief. Well, um, this has been super informative. Yes, I have learned all the things that I need to do and I'm doing none of those things, so I will do that.
And, uh, sort myself out. Yeah. But this is usually the time where we ask our guests just to share how like folks that wanna help their sleep can get ahold of you.
Speaker 3: So first you can visit my website, ww one of us coach.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: Very easy. 'cause, uh, as I [00:37:00] explained, I was a police officer, so one of us and coach.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: Then you can find me on Instagram and TikTok, uh, under Bianca Ramos first responder coach. There, you can actually write me just a message and you find my phone number there on my website or the link, the bio link, uh, in those social medias. But please text me. I'm really bad with answering phones.
Speaker 2: Yeah,
Speaker 3: and you get a lot of spam calls anyway. Oh. So I prefer actually to call back and then people know, Hey. This is Bianco calling back.
Speaker 2: Sure. Okay. Well, we'll put all that in the show notes as well so people can kind of find you that way. And thank you so much for being on. This has been so informative. I
Speaker: know safe sleep is really important, so I'm glad it was a great topic to have.
Speaker 2: Yeah,
Speaker: for our, our working moms.
Speaker 2: Definitely. Thank you
Speaker 3: guys for having me here.
Speaker 2: Of course. And then really quickly, I will just also thank our listeners for tuning into this week's episode and we'll catch you guys next time.
Speaker: See you guys next time.[00:38:00]
Speaker 2: Thanks so much for tuning into this episode of the Working Moms of San Antonio podcast. We hope you love today's chat and found a little inspiration to take with you into your week. If you have a podcast topic suggestion or a question you'd love for us to cover, definitely send us an email at hello at working moms of san antonio.com.
We'd love to hear from you. And until next time, see you in the community.
